The Phoenix

by Mesita

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about

Tracks 1-10 The Phoenix, released December 30, 2014.
Tracks 11-15 Small Table EP, released for free February 16, 2016.
Tracks 16-17 singles released in 2015.

credits

released December 30, 2014

Recorded in Chicago, Illinois and Denver, Colorado. (Tracks 11-17 recorded in Brooklyn, New York.)

tags

license

all rights reserved

feeds

feeds for this album, this artist
Track Name: Heard You're Happy
your world is made up
to be soft
you keep your distance
and soon enough
count the splinters
they're gone
they meant nothing to me
heard you're happy
that's great

you're treading water
on and on
you shut yourself in
keeping occupied
count the splinters
they're gone
they meant nothing to me
heard you're happy
that's great

count the splinters
they're gone
they meant nothing to me
heard you're happy
that's great
goodbye

i'm so happy for you
but i won't be at the wedding
Track Name: Hostiles
why do you fear me
only for my walk of life
if we are so even
why does my living cross your line
and i don't know where i belong
but i am no hostile

a threat that i exhibit
how i was brought into my life
a clear and present danger
no good i do will change your mind
and i don't know where i belong
but i am no hostile

you're different
nothing personal
business as usual

but i am no hostile
Track Name: The Villain
you're an actor for an actor
performing for performers
something you do, i do
you get me there i'll help you out
you call and i'll come back around
something you do, i do
and all this time resting on your laurels
will all be for naught
are you seeing him professionally

i'm an actor for an actor
performing for performers
something you do, i do
count your blessings where they see em
show em how you're living
weaponize your happiness
and all this time poaching on a new front
for trading places on the stages
posing with the famous
act as if you're one of them
and turn into the villain
this is how you become the villain

an actor for an actor
cold shapeshifter
something you do, i do
you get me there i'll help you out
you call and i'll come back around
something you do, i do
use all your time to paint yourself the victim
strengthen up your branding
in bed with your connections
broadcasting your blessings
faking all your smiles
and turn into the villain

i don't mean to make you sad but i do
Track Name: Buena Park
your friends are not your therapists
and you know it's all your fault
but i can't seem to leave
well enough alone
or bring myself
to forget about it
up in buena park
doing well enough alone
but i can't forget about it, no

you let it turn you bitter
why don't you find someone else
but i can't seem to leave
well enough alone
or bring myself
to forget about it
up in buena park
doing well enough alone
but i can't forget about it, no

drunk dial friends
say i don't want to be friends
they'll call you if they need you
say they love you and then leave you
and i can't seem to leave
well enough alone
or bring myself
to forget about it
up in buena park
i only think about myself
lalalalalalalalala
Track Name: Built A Prison
he could be your volunteer
holding to your hand
he could be your halo
he could be your hero king
open up the gates
bring you on his journey
but you built a prison
and you threw yourself in it
don't you think you should have
let yourself go by now

he could be your special friend
out for sunday brunch
look cute in matching outfits
he could be your therapy
your bro and workout buddy
introduce him to your family
but you built a prison
and you threw yourself in it
don't you think you should have
let yourself go by now

open your heart to the world
lift your roots from the soil
quit living like whoever was here before
and careen down the line til you're off the rails
and never be heard from again
open your heart to the world
why live as just another nice couple next door
we could go take a boat and sail away
and never be heard from again

(lock it up)
Track Name: Astoria/Fallen
highs and lows
the first time you met to the altar pose
you know it will last your life
astoria has fallen tonight
we had all wished you well
alone in the city
building digital cities
films lining up your shelves
on a composite wood bookcase
you assembled yourself
wasn't what you wanted, right
searching out, grab the first dimwit you find

go find your peace of mind
and that love will keep you locked up for life
highs and lows
the first time you met to the altar pose
you know it will last your life
astoria has fallen tonight
no turning round and walking out
changing your mind
for the rest of your life

here you walk down the aisle now
two grooms on the cake
ready with your vows
you aren't getting any younger now
where have you been
where are you going
Track Name: Together
all our hope is gone
they got all we want
how can we keep it together
when it all falls short
when the thought still lingers on
how can we keep it together
when it all falls short
when all i know is wrong
i just don't care anymore

all our hope is gone
but the thought still lingers on
keep it together
when it all falls short
when all i know is wrong
how can we keep it together
when it all falls short
how can we keep it together
i just don't care anymore

don't stop now
they're waiting
for something
to latch onto
so wake up
they're waiting
Track Name: Matching Lovers
matching lovers cancelling each other out
is he really all you waited for
matching lovers cancelling each other out
is he really worth you giving up

you know
the dream is gone
it falls apart, it leaves you low
you wanted it
this is what you get
you know
the dream is gone
when who you want
has all you want
it hurts like hell
this is what you get

matching lovers cancelling each other out
is he really all you waited for
sure you feel a warmth and a steady weight
while your dreams slowly suffocate

when who you want gets all you want
Track Name: Phoenix Deluxe
i can't take my own advice
holding out for nothing
waiting on the cardinal
empty of my own accord
frozen in the movement
if you loved me, it's not my fault
i fell into your embrace
i do not need you
i will do all that it takes for you
and leave you

silent in the breakaway
when you desire nothing
waiting on the cardinal
quit it with the wrecking ball
i'm leaving in the morning
if i loved you, it's not my fault
i fell into your embrace
i do not need you
i will do all that it takes for you
and leave you

i do
Track Name: An old throw-away from 2011
summertime
your place off the brooklyn crosstown line
a few white lies
your secret is mine
i did it all for you
but did nothing for you
and i do not blame you for
feeling nothing i felt for you
but i did it all for you

new york spring
laying on your bunk bed whimpering
i've felt this way
for a very long time
i'm a selfish brat
and thoughts of you
keep rising from the ashes
to the uptown track
and our final collide
i did it all for you
but did nothing for you
and i do not blame you for
feeling nothing i felt for you
but i did it all for you

no we were not meant to be together
i'm headed off to find somebody better
Track Name: Re-Demolition
time waits for no one
and i waited so long
but when the city turns to sludge i won't budge
when you're left out in the cold
and it's all you've ever known why go

old friends leave you for new ones
and new friends are bound to get old
but when the city turns to sludge i won't budge
when you're left out in the cold
and it's all you've ever known why go

why would you have treated me different
what could i have done to earn the respect
with a goodbye
this is how we fall

be patient with what you want
you might not get it
it might collapse
and you might be left
outside the building
looking on when it crumbles down
but when the city turns to sludge i won't budge
when you're left out in the cold
and it's all you've ever known why go

why would you have treated me different
it's easier to forgive than be forgiven
with a goodbye
this is how we fall
Track Name: Both
i took it out on you unjustly so
caught in-between and pushed him out
made a friendship cold
i took him away and left you bleeding out
somewhere down in the texas sun
oh how can i atone
take hold settle scores

i'm glaring at what's come of my old friend
all alone in the denver cold
never felt so bitter
i should've known, returned so many times
maybe it's not for the moving on
eight years later
take hold settle scores

it was my fault
i'm deserving of this
so no more
Track Name: Default
look out there, oh they're all waiting
for something more appealing
for the next damaged savior
for something new to believe in
(default)
some will hear it for the hobby
some are broken down and hollow
tearing thru communications
looking for something new to follow
or default into whatever was

oh defeatist
they don't owe you anything
you're the one who's been
aiming to please
so empty out your pockets
give it up to play the gathering
scratching for exposure
aching for belonging
(default)
buy up all the critics
from the parent company
get exposed to the overloaded masses
get that bump from the branding
and default into whatever was

oh defeatist
let go of emulation
haven't met the one
you're meant to be
or default into whatever was
after all what could we be without
settling for less
after all the little we'd be without
tearing it down again
Track Name: Secrets
hope i didn't wait too long
silence becomes a prison
this could be my only shot
pray he doesn't hate me for it
hear it once and then he's gone
or fade from the picture
god i hope that i am wrong
cause i think he might feel the same way i do

i waited for nothing more
than to see you at my door
there's something you need to know
wait another minute
wait another one before you go

shaking while i fall apart
piece by piece right before him
bracing on the bedroom wall
i can't open my mouth to talk
what if i am not the one he wants
even if we're in this together
will he turn away and go
will i end up losing someone so invaluable

i waited for nothing more
than to see you at my door
there's something you need to know
wait another minute
wait another one before you go

so long ago
Track Name: Epilogue
there is something that you need to know
one more song and then i'll let it go
or as a matter of fact, why don't we call it here
is it really worth another four minutes
on something that happened eight years ago

i need to cut down on my drinking at night
but other than that everything's alright
i mean, please don't look at my bank account
but other than that it's nice having
all these new friends around

disconnect for an hour or two
and thankfully not a single thought of you
no more lyrics of losing it
you're a good guy and i bet he's a good guy too

i still book it at lorimer
still can't listen to sæglópur
but in spite of everything
i have never felt more complete
when did i have company
when did walking by classon
get to be so ordinary
and every painful old memory
has been overwritten
turned into different
newer and better things
thankfully
Track Name: Boy Named Dakota (Bonus Track)
open up your heart and let it go
there's no telling who's out there waiting up for you

and i know a boy named dakota
here, let me give his number to you
we're all here for you, you know it

there's no telling who is out there
never know until you try it
who knows, maybe you'll like him

anywhere you go
anywhere around the world
he could be anywhere around the world
Track Name: Be The Light (Bonus Track)
no matter what
i'll keep you safe from harm
and what dark comes
there's no telling what might be round the bend
look over your shoulder for holding hands
i live to be your protector
whatever comes our way
i swear to keep you safe
oh i won't let anyone hurt you
and live to be the light

no matter what
i'll keep you from the dark
and lift you up
sinking to sleep in and giving up
thinking the sky's gone and fallen
when the best is yet to come
whatever comes our way
i swear to keep you safe
oh i won't let anyone hurt you
and live to be the light